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  Go home bus you are drunk

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  I am still getting used to being a Dad

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  I lost my giant snail at work Anyone seen it

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  This is what happens when stick a bar of soap in the microwave

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  So you made a small purchase from Amazon

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  So this smells like napalm in the morning

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  Oh and then I laughed like an idiot

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  How old is that human being

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  I like to think it works

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  Oh look even pigs have more fun than I do