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  I am still getting used to being a Dad

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  Sums up my entire philosophy on relationships

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  My girlfriend has been away When she comes back I imagine it will look like this

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  Oh and then I laughed like an idiot

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  Go home bus you are drunk

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  The old Bad Luck Brian memes are the best

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  I lost my giant snail at work Anyone seen it

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  I do not remember this Arthur book

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  I have encountered this too often

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  I do not get how people think this is ok